So its been a While

Well its really been a while. Things have not worked out with the IUI's so we are taking another break from treatments and just hoping thing will happen own its own. We are moving forward to IVF in Feb. 2012. Its been 5 years now. I cant believe it. So much has happen yet so little in my life. I know in my heart Ill be a mother. I trust in the Lord that he has a perfect plan for me. Its funny the other night we had an interview with our community group leader because we are becoming members of our church. We let him know a little bit of what has been going on in our life and he said something that made total since to me. He said "the Lord is not trying to rob you have your happiness you just want it in your time not his. Its like if one of my daughters was riding her bike on a busy road and I said get off that bike and the road and play somewhere else, its not because I want to rob her of her happiness but because I know whats best for her. She doesnt know what I know. Thats the role God plays in your life. You dont know his plans for you. You just have to trust he know what is best." I never looked at it that way. It made me smile. Josh and I love our new found faith and our new church. I always had a relationship with God its just stronger now. So moving forward I am Okay and will trust in the Lord with all my heart.

Trigger

So today is the 4th of July. We went yesterday and saw only on follie has grown to a good size. Today it was 21. The Doctor says everything looks great. I wish I had more than one. But thats all we need. Tomorrow and Wednesday I will be having IUI done and will take off work for bed rest. I hope it all works out. I know that all this is in Gods hands. I know I will be a mother someday, someway some how.

Progress

So we start last Friday with Follistim 50 iu. I had my first ultrasound and BW today. Everything is on track. There are 2 good size follicles one on each side they are still small but growing. My lining is good at a 7 so far. They called and said to stay on 50 iu. I go back on Friday to see if they are getting bigger. I will find out then if I will to my IUI on Monday or Tuesday. We are going to do a back to back IUIs.

Cycle Day One.

So this morning I woke up with another headache. But I made my way to work. When I got to work I started to feel cramping. More than I have the last couple of days. Yes its the end of a very short pregnancy and the start of a new cycle. This time I hope for a different out come.

I have been so sick with headaches for the last month. I have had to miss work. I left early today because I was so sick. Its absolutely awful. I am hoping this gets better quick. I want this cycle to go smoothly. This pass cycle was crazy with headaches. I just hope that tomorrow is a better day.

What the heck is going on!

So I have been waiting patiently to start my IUI cycle. My period was late. So I tested Friday and I had a faint positive. WHAT! A BFP. After 3 years of this and it happened on its on. My joy was short lived. I went to my Dr for the blood test. My HGC was only 11. She said it could be early but I know what this means. Its all happened before. A chemical pregnancy. I go back tomorrow for blood work to see if my numbers have gone up but according to the HPT I did this morning its not going to be good. But I am not that sad. I am kinda used to it by now. Ofcourse it sucks but I now have a little more hope It will happen someday and I am now a mom for another day or two. God has a plan.

Approved!

Thrusday I was told that my Follistim was approved! It arrived on Friday and now I just have to wait for AF to come. I have been getting awful headaches for the past month nothing helps. I hope everything get better soon. I am excited about this and hope that it works. I know it has not helped in the past but tomorrow is a new day. Whatever road God takes us down will be the right one for us. Its hard to watch everyone around you get pregnant have babies. I just feel stuck. But in order to get unstuck you have to push through. I not getting anything done just waiting for it to happen. SO HERE WE GO!

Waiting Game

I had my injection class and everything was moving forward. Now I got a call from the pharmacy saying that my Follistim was refused because I have not done 3 cycles of clomid first. Ugg... its so frustrating. I have done clomid 4 times and I have even did follistim with IUI too. It has been 2 years so their updated system didnt show that. So I had to get the old RE office to send my new office the records. I hope everthing works out. I still have a week or so left so Im not freaking out yet. I did get my Ovidrel and Endometrin in the mail. It makes me excited. I know things will work out the way they are supposed to so I am not going to stress. God has a plan. Ill keep this updated.

Much Need Update

Well I have not updated this in a while. Let me start by saying that my surgery went very well. No Endo. Yay. Both tube are open. One had two small cyst on them and there was some scar tissue on my colon and uterus that was cleaned up and removed along with some polyps in the uterus. The doctor say he really didnt see much that was going to cause me any major problems. The one thing he did do which I dont know why my old RE didnt was I had a deviated uterus. At the top where it should be flat is was dipping down. I was born this way. He fixed it and now Im ready to go.

Josh and I prayed about it and we decided that we wanted to go ahead and wait a few months to start. No rush we waited all this time what another month or two. But now we are ready.

Today I went for my consult for my injections. Everything is pretty much the same as last time. I just have to wait about two weeks for my cycle to start and then its back to doing the shots and then the IUI. Hopefully God will bless us on the first try. But we have faith that God will lead us down the right path whatever that should be. He is first in our lives so what will be will be.

Here We Go...

Well I have officially scheduled my surgery date. It will be Thursday March 17th. St. Pattys Day. We have an appointment the Monday before for us to go over all of our test. I am excited to see what they have found. We do know my progesterone was low. I am hoping that after the surgery there will just be a need for some medications and thats all. But we are prepare either way for whats ahead. We know God has a plan for us and we are actively listening. Over the last couple days I have been a little down. It maybe because the doctor put me on birth control pills until after my surgery. The office says its so everything stays calm and that there is not complications during surgery. I hate that I know there is no way to get pregnant this month. But it will all be worth it in the end. I have also been have pain in my shoulder I have to have an MRI and Xrays done. I dont know how all this is going to play into my up coming journey. Might have to deal with the pain for a while until we get pass this step in our infertility. We will see.

Next Step and Faith

Well I have finally completed all work up for my new RE. I really love this office so far. Everything came back normal until today. My day 21 progestrone was only a 2.3. I am told that a 2 and below means you did not ovulate so I am VERY boarder line. I will go back next wednesday to retest. Maybe this is the problem. Atleast maybe I will get some answers. Our next step after next Wednesday will be to meet with the Dr. and make a plan. I will need to have HSG done but that will most likely be done at my Exploratory Lap surgery. I will need to see how bad my Endo is. Lets hope its not bad. Fingers Crossed.

BTW Josh and I are changing our way of life. We have always had faith in God. But we have really tuned in to having a relationship with GOD. There is a big difference. God has given us so much and we have so much to be thankful for. Since beginning to go back to church and read my bible and the power of prayer, I have been so at peace with my life. I am happier now than I have been since we started our journey 4 years ago.

A New Start.

We have decided to document our Journey to becoming a family. Here is a little back ground.

Josh and I have been together since September 25, 2000. We meet my senior year of high school. We were married on March 25, 2006. After we purchased our house in September of 2006 we began trying to conceive our first baby. We really were not "trying trying" just letting thing happen if they were going to happen. But after a year still nothing. Then in January of 2008 we finally had a BFP! We were so excited. But things didn't progress and I miscarried later that week. Needless to say it was the worst feeling in the world. So we proceeded by going to a Reproductive Endocrinologist aka Fertility Clinic. Everything look hopeful. I had to have laproscopic surgery to remove some endometriosis. I also found out I have PCOS. But every cycle we tried looked very good but nothing worked. We had multiple IUI's and still nothing. I knew all of this was going to be physically hard but nothing can prepare you for the emotional pain infertility causes. Its hard for family to understand. They just say it will happen. For me I felt like I was all alone if my fight. But I know God has a path for me and now I have learned to lean on God for help. Don't get me wrong Josh has been amazing, I know his want for a child is just as great as mine.

So here we are 2011. We had taken time off to try and save up for IVF. But we just found out insurance is going to help more than we thought. I dont know where this road is going to lead us, but we switch RE and I love our new office. I have faith that God will lead us to our dreams one way or another. No one should ever have to worry about this kind of thing but here we are living it. We just pray for our friends and family's support and hopefully this will be the new start to us becoming a Mommy and Daddy.

So far we have completed most of our first step exams to see where we are going to start. I will need to have the Lap surgery again. We will keep you posted on each appointment. Thank you for your interest and support. We love you.